Goddess2b's Bad Girls Guide to Classifying Your Man

2003-01-13 -

Ok, at the first BG gathering on Friday (which went well btw)we started talking about the different names that I have for the men that we see/date/befriend/sleep-with. I, being a Bad Girl of a new century, know that there is more than just boyfriend or not-boyfriend, lover or not-lover. I continually hear women ask themselves, �What is he, if not my boyfriend?� Or I hear, �He�s more than just a 911!�

I have yet to read anything that can help us classify or define our men. At least none that we can use in casual day to day conversation. Where�s my pencil? What you say? I CAN�T do that?

Goddess2bism #5: If you think it can�t be done, get out of the way of those who are doing it.

You guys know how I am. Since I was apparently not happy with black and white names for the men we see/date. of men, I�ve added some to the pot.

I now give you Goddess2b�s Bad Girls Guide to Classifying Your Man:

Boyfriend: Pretty self explanatory. I think we�ve all had them. I think the traditional definitions still holds true.

Friend: Same as �Friend With Privileges� without the sex.

Date Guy: Guy who takes you out on dates. Asks who your best friend is and all about her. You go out with him with the mutual intention of getting to know each other, in the hopes that he might go up the ranks to �Boyfriend.� You may or may not have sex with this guy. It is acceptable to have more than one Date Guy at a time.

Boy Toy: The guy who is so fantastic in bed you decide to keep him around just for this reason. He may or may not have been possible boyfriend material to begin with You have occasional conversations, some even in person. You probably do know where he lives and what he does for a living. Boy Toys occasionally start off as Date Guy. The word �date� comes up often, but with the word �sex� preceding it. Boy Toy is not expected take you out for dinner or drinks, ask about your best friend or volunteer information about himself�although some information may on occasion slip by.

911: The guy you choose to call to help relieve your sexual frustrations. They are not expected to ask or care about how your best friend is doing or even who she is. You may or may not know where he lives, what he does for a living, etc. You only call him when you need him to, um, service you. You get together, have sex and go your separate ways. From my unscientific survey, most women do not have more than one 911 at a time.

Pain in the Ass: A Boy Toy who is confused about his rank. Will not share any information about himself with you and does not care to get close to you, but is afraid you will take sex privileges if �you figure it out� (Pfft! As if we wouldn�t know!) so continually asks how your best friend is doing in an attempt to appear he cares.

Friend With Privileges: Your good guy friend who you occasionally have sex with. He knows your best friend and he does care, but he is not boyfriend material.

The above are in no particular order.