L2 Broke up with me/ L2 Rompio conmigo

2003-08-20 - 11:04 a.m.

L2 broke up with me. It was very sweet, and sad for me. I could do nothing and likely wouldn�t have if I could. Why? Because I�ve always known this was going to happen. From our first date we figured out that we did not want quite the same things in life. Mainly kids. He�s an only child and wants a family. I�m the oldest of five and I helped raise my siblings since I was 16. I understand why people want kids, why is it so hard to understand why I don�t? What is hard to understand that even thought these kids that I helped raise are my siblings, they are still in a way, my kids? I washed them, made sure they were fed, did their homework, cared for them when they were sick, took them to Girl Scout and science club meetings, helped out in any way I could. Still now, that my sister is in college, I send money, I give support, I am for all intensive (and warped) purposes their mother figure. They will call me before they think of calling anyone else. I�ve done the mother thing. I am now doing the fun sister/mother thing. Now I can go and hang out with them, but I am still the one who pays for their trips when we do go somewhere. Every time they fly up here to see me, I fund that. Not Dad, not them.

This is so stupid. Here is this great guy, L2. He�s well educated, he�s very good looking, he�s fantastic in bed, he has a gorgeous body, and he eventually wants to get married and have kids. And I don�t want to have kids.

Why is it that my girlfriends end up dating the guys who don�t want to get serious and I always end up with the guys who, in the end, want the whole family thing? WHY??? Why am I being punished for my beliefs? Why is it wrong that I don�t want to have children because I feel I�ve raised enough? And I�m not done! That�s the thing. My sister will always be here, and I will continue to help her in any way. I have a half brother who is only 7 and will need help for a long time.

Not that I have a horrid father, I�ve never meant to imply that. He�s provided as best he could. He comes from a different culture. I come from a very old-fashioned Mexican family. As such, it was my responsibility to help where I could. In being Anglicized, I have decided to not spend my entire life raising kids. So here I am. It just so sad that I can�t have such a great guy. It does give me hope knowing that guys like him are out in the world. This means that I am not unrealistic about what I want in a man, it just might take me a little longer to find it. Well, that and they have to manage to keep my interest past a first date. LOL

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

L2 rompio conmigo. Fue muy dulce, y triste para mi. No podria hacer nada y probablemente no haria nada si pudiera. Por que? Porque he sabido siempre esto iba a suceder. Desde nuestra primera cita nos dimos cuenta que no queriamos exactamente las mismas cosas en fida. Pricipalmente ninos. El es hijo unico y desea una familia. Soy la major de cinco hiyos y ayude a crear a mis hermanos desde los 16 anos. Yo entiendo porque la gente desea tener hijos, por que es tan duro entender que yo no los quiero? Que es la dificultad en entender que aunque estos ninos que ayude a crear son mis hermandos, aun son, de una manera, mis ninos. Me asegure que comieran, que hicieran su tarea, cuidaba de ellos cuando se enfermaran, los llevea sus reunions de Girl Scouts y club de sciencia, ayudaba en cualquier manera que podria. Aun ahora, que mi hermanda atiende la universided, doy ayuda, soy para todos prositos intensivos (y de manera tergiversa) su figura de madre. Me llamaran antes de que piensen en llamar cualquier otra persona. Ya interprete la parte de madre. Ahora estoy interpretando la parte de la hermana/mama divertida. Ahora podemos salir juntos, pero sigo siendo la quien paga por los viajes cuando vamos alguna parte. Cada vez que veinen a verme, yo financio los vuelos. No papi, no ellos.

Esta situasion es tan estupida. Aqui esta este gran individuo, L2. Es bien educado, es guapisimo, es fantastico en cama, tiene un cuerpo magnifico, y desea enentualmente casarse y tener hijos. Yo no deseo tener hijos.

Por que es que mis amigas salen con chicos que no desean algo serio oh tener ninos y yo siempre con los que, despues de todo, desean la familia? PORQUE??? Por que es malo que malo que no quiero ninos porque pienso que ya crie suficientes? Y aun no he termindado! Eh alli el punto. Mi hermana estara siempre aqui, y continuare ayundandole en qualquier manera. Tengo un medio hermano que tiene solamente 7 anos y necesitara ayuda durante mucho tiempo mas.

No que tuve un padre horrible, nunca quise implicar eso. El hiso todo lo que pudo. El viene de una cultura diferente. Yo vengo de una familia mexicana con valores tradicionales. Como tal, era mi responsabilidad ayudar a donde podria. En ser inglesada, he decidido no pasar I vida entera criando ninos. Asi que aqui estoy. Es solo que es tan triste que no pueda tener este gran chico. Me da esperanza saber que chicos como el existen. Esto significa que no soy poco realista en lo que deseo en un hombre, solo significa que me tardare en encontrarlo. Bueno, eso y ellos tiened que mantener mi interes mas alla de la primera cita. *RISAS*